DAY 4

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day 4 - wednesday december 10th 

0. Scale & Body Check

  • Morning weight: Not weighing this morning (see below) 

  • Bloat / cycle notes: Bloated today, but not as bloated as I was this weekend post drinking on Friday. 

  • How my body felt in clothes today (1 sentence): Pretty lean, but my boobs definitely feel massive (it doesn't make me feel sexy).

1. Routine / Stability

  • Wake time: 6:30AM

  • Bedtime: 10:30PM (ideal, took both magnesium at 8 and will take melatonin at 9).

  • Today feels: Productive, positive. I stayed really focused at work. I had a great call with Michelle today, she's so down to earth and beautiful. I'm really excited about my new role. I haven't really processed it yet but I think it's a very good thing. I need to start working outside of the house whenever I can I've realized. I need human interaction!

    I felt my day start to spin out of control this morning on the way to Starbucks. I noted a clear transition from peaceful to rumination and anger. It was when I turned to picking apart the ex dynamic all over again, my RSD flared like crazy. I can't even think about how rejected I feel and how devastated and lonely I am. I'm not sure how I'll ever be able to file that away. Being a single mom is so hard and working from home. I feel so isolated. These things all come crashing down and I worry so badly about my future, that I'll never find someone. It's only bad right now because I kept lashing out until last night.

  • One sentence why: I had a ton of energy overall because it's been about 5 days out from me being so hungover, I've stayed hydrated and focused on sleep.  

2. Food – Me + Stella

  • Me: 3 real meals? Protein shake for breakfast and lunch and chobani yogurt. I need real meal options for lunchtime. Real meal (Flexx Nutrition Parmesan) for dinner plus half of Stella's steak n shake cheeseburger and some Hot Fries later on.
  • Protein: 126g
  • Stella: did she get real meals with some protein + produce? What did she actually eat (roughly)? She had pancakes this morning, juice, half of a hamburger, turkey sandwich, chips, milkshake.

3. Body Work – 108 + Muscle (Plan vs Reality)

  • Plan for today: Stationary bike/prep for week. 

    What I actually did:

    • Cardio: Stationary Bike

    • Strength: exercises + sets/reps: None. 

  • Intensity: low/medium

  • Did today move me closer to 108, further, or neutral? Why? Closer because I'm in a minimal cal deficit. But it didn't get me closer to the habit/patterns I want to form that incorporate body recomp and strength training. (Same as yesterday)

4. Future Body Fund (Money)

  • Did I add to my Hot Body Fund today? Unfortunately not going to happen until post Christmas. 

  • Note: I ordered DoorDash once. 

5. One “Hotter Me” Choice

  • Cycled. Bed early-ish. Stayed in full calorie deficit yesterday so the ball is rolling.

    Goal Tomorrow: 15 minutes of strength//30-1hr walk/run. I really want to do this. I'll have time! 

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